This afternoon, I popped into Halfords. (My local car and bike accessory shop.)
I was only going in for a can of mountain-bike oil, but I thought I would have myself a quick peruse through the latest gadgets and accessories and came across a nice ‘Ultra Comfortable’ saddle that I was tempted by, especially as it was reasonably priced.
I scrupulously inspected the saddle and even popped it between my legs to try it for size, although that’s rather futile without it being on an actual bike and it looks a little odd holding a saddle to your bum and pushing as hard as possible, trying to get even the slightest incling of its claims' legitimacy!
Anyway, half way through this possible acquisition decision, I was approached by a rather debonair guy, who looked like he was about to ask me something… and I was right:
Guy: "Hi, how are you?"
Dogga: "Fine thanks, and you?"
Guy: "Good thanks… That saddle looks nice!"
Dogga: "Yeah, it does, I’m rather tempted by it!"
Guy: [Boldly reaches out to feel the saddle that I’m holding, but accidentally squeezes a couple of my fingers that are underneath, causing him to rapidly remove his hand. Although this does not sway him from his audacious approach]
Guy: "So, are you having a nice day?"
Dogga: "Errr... yeah... and it would be even better if I could find a saddle I liked."
Guy: "Oh, so do you come here often?"
Dogga: "Erm… kind of… I live just up the road, so it’s convenient for me to pop in for bike parts and car cleaning stuff etc now and again."
Dogga: "OK…" [and carries on fingering the saddle]
Guy: "Did you know lots of people are getting 10% off stuff from Halfords with vouchers."
Dogga: "Erm... Nope." [OK, what's going on here?]
Guy: "Would you be interested in saving 10% on today’s purchase?"
Dogga: "Maybe, but it’s not normally worth it with low value purchases!" [Ah, I see! Now I start to smell a rat, but ears prick up like some one opening a packet of crisps in front of a dog. 10% is 10% after all!]
Guy: "Yeah? We could also send you vouchers through the post to spend throughout the year, until December 1st, if you prove to be a regular customer."
Dogga: "Mmm, maybe, but it depends on what it involves."
Guy: [Magically produces a clipboard and biro he’s been holding behind his back, that has a wedge of generic photocopied credit application forms attached to the front]
Dogga: "Erm, I’m not sure if I’m…"
Guy: [Rudely interrupts with] "Ah, what’s you last name then? Mr… Err… 'James'?"
Dogga: "Erm, what? Err... Nope, and I’m not interested thanks." [Friendly ‘go away’ smile thrown in too]
Guy: [Writes down the word ‘Mr’ on the dotted line that starts with ‘Applicants Name:…’]
Dogga: [Ignores this and carries on analysing the saddle, but keeping his head forward, moves his eyes to the right (action man toy style) to notice, out the corner of my eye, he’s still stood there, pen in hand, grinning inanely]
Dogga: [Uncomfortable silence, bordering on being unbearable if it carries on two seconds longer, but starts to read features label attached to saddle regardless]
Guy: "So, Mr… 'James'… was it?"
Dogga: "NO! LOOK; I don't want a Halfords credit card! THANK YOU!"
(I’d rather pay someone the 10% I could of saved on having him removed from my face!)
Guy: [Halfwitted smile still intact] "Are you sure?"
Dogga: ".......??? YES!" [Startled bunny look] (Is there no stopping this guy?)
Guy: [Goes to put his hand out to shake mine, but changes his mind and retracts it while slinking back off behind a stack of bikes from where he appeared from]
Grrr… Talk about a sales spiel! He could have just asked me if I was interested in a Halfords store card scheme, to save 10%, from the beginning, rather than shove a rubbish sales pitch in my face and pretend to be interested in what I’m buying etc. Grrr… I hate that kind of sales trickery and ‘pretending to be your mate’ stuff! Grrr! [That's 3 grrr's in one sentence!]
Today, I'm Most Angry About: [Bar the above] Couples 'heaving petting' while they walk up and down the aisles in my local supermarket, when I'M shopping too!!!
No particular reason... Other than IT'S NOT HAPPENING TO ME :'''(
Grrr-O-Meter Rating: 5/10