Saturday, 13 May 2006

Less 10%..?

This afternoon, I popped into Halfords. (My local car and bike accessory shop.)

I was only going in for a can of mountain-bike oil, but I thought I would have myself a quick peruse through the latest gadgets and accessories and came across a nice ‘Ultra Comfortable’ saddle that I was tempted by, especially as it was reasonably priced.
I scrupulously inspected the saddle and even popped it between my legs to try it for size, although that’s rather futile without it being on an actual bike and it looks a little odd holding a saddle to your bum and pushing as hard as possible, trying to get even the slightest incling of its claims' legitimacy!

Anyway, half way through this possible acquisition decision, I was approached by a rather debonair guy, who looked like he was about to ask me something… and I was right:

Guy: "Hi, how are you?"
Dogga: "Fine thanks, and you?"
Guy: "Good thanks… That saddle looks nice!"
Dogga: "Yeah, it does, I’m rather tempted by it!"
Guy: [Boldly reaches out to feel the saddle that I’m holding, but accidentally squeezes a couple of my fingers that are underneath, causing him to rapidly remove his hand. Although this does not sway him from his audacious approach]
Guy: "So, are you having a nice day?"
Dogga: "Errr... yeah... and it would be even better if I could find a saddle I liked."
Guy: "Oh, so do you come here often?"
Dogga: "Erm… kind of… I live just up the road, so it’s convenient for me to pop in for bike parts and car cleaning stuff etc now and again."
Guy: "Great!"
Dogga: "OK…" [and carries on fingering the saddle]
Guy: "Did you know lots of people are getting 10% off stuff from Halfords with vouchers."
Dogga: "Erm... Nope."
[OK, what's going on here?]
Guy: "Would you be interested in saving 10% on today’s purchase?"
Dogga: "Maybe, but it’s not normally worth it with low value purchases!" [Ah, I see! Now I start to smell a rat, but ears prick up like some one opening a packet of crisps in front of a dog. 10% is 10% after all!]
Guy: "Yeah? We could also send you vouchers through the post to spend throughout the year, until December 1st, if you prove to be a regular customer."
Dogga: "Mmm, maybe, but it depends on what it involves."
Guy: [Magically produces a clipboard and biro he’s been holding behind his back, that has a wedge of generic photocopied credit application forms attached to the front]
Dogga: "Erm, I’m not sure if I’m…"
Guy: [Rudely interrupts with] "Ah, what’s you last name then? Mr… Err… 'James'?"
Dogga: "Erm, what? Err... Nope, and I’m not interested thanks." [Friendly ‘go away’ smile thrown in too]
Guy: [Writes down the word ‘Mr’ on the dotted line that starts with ‘Applicants Name:…’]
Dogga: [Ignores this and carries on analysing the saddle, but keeping his head forward, moves his eyes to the right (action man toy style) to notice, out the corner of my eye, he’s still stood there, pen in hand, grinning inanely]
Guy: "…"
Dogga: [Uncomfortable silence, bordering on being unbearable if it carries on two seconds longer, but starts to read features label attached to saddle regardless]
Guy: "So, Mr… 'James'… was it?"
Dogga: "NO! LOOK; I don't want a Halfords credit card! THANK YOU!"

(I’d rather pay someone the 10% I could of saved on having him removed from my face!)
Guy: [Halfwitted smile still intact] "Are you sure?"
Dogga: ".......??? YES!" [Startled bunny look] (Is there no stopping this guy?)
Guy: [Goes to put his hand out to shake mine, but changes his mind and retracts it while slinking back off behind a stack of bikes from where he appeared from]

Grrr… Talk about a sales spiel! He could have just asked me if I was interested in a Halfords store card scheme, to save 10%, from the beginning, rather than shove a rubbish sales pitch in my face and pretend to be interested in what I’m buying etc. Grrr… I hate that kind of sales trickery and ‘pretending to be your mate’ stuff!
Grrr! [That's 3 grrr's in one sentence!]

Today, I'm Most Angry About: [Bar the above] Couples 'heaving petting' while they walk up and down the aisles in my local supermarket, when I'M shopping too!!!
No particular reason... Other than IT'S NOT HAPPENING TO ME :'''(
Grrr-O-Meter Rating: 5/10


Anonymous said...

But did you get the saddle, and does it fit?

Dakota said...

I really dislike those guys and gals. Those who try to sell stuff I mean :) They act like they want to be your friend (or even worse, like they want to date you) and all they want is your personal info or your money. I encounter them every week, trying to sell me subscriptions, loyalty cards or yet another, new and improved (?!?), credit card.

I have no problem with those other guys and gals. There is nothing wrong with showing affection. If I had to choose between looking at them or those bored, dull and chagrined couples I see all the time, my vote goes to the affectionate people :)

Phil said...

Hi there!
Yes, I did get the saddle AND my oil.

Oh, and I would have saved a modest sum of £1 something if I had of taken up the store card offer. WOOT!

Saddle fits both bum and bike a treat too! Yay

Yeah! Really annoying isn't it, but it sounds like you get it more than me!
My plan next time is to try and hard sell something of mine to them, like my mobile phone! :-)

LOL, yeah. Of course I would prefer to see happy couples really, rather than the 'in this relationship because it's convenient and all the love went 5 years ago' types!

b o o said...

heaving petting :p it shall happen to u yet mr. james.

Phil said...

Fancy going shopping with me sometime Boo? *wink*

Oi! Grrr... I'll Mr James you in a minute! Grrr... Don't get me started again! ;->

Duncan said...

LOL ! Phil, that happened to me and Mart today, in almost exactly the same kind of way too ! We were both left with our mouths wide open looking at each other. What's that all about ... are they desperate to make money or something ?? !!!

Phil said...

I'm glad your with me on this one Dunx! Talk about annoying or what!

I've just been to the pub with a mate and told him the story and he then produced a credit card from the said store! LOL He got sucked in... TeeHee

I've now got several plans to ridicule the pushy sales guy and I'm very tempted to do them with someone secretly filming on their phone or whatever! Will tell you about em next week!

Me-ow said...

I hate when they try the sneak attack sales pitch too. He might have stood a better chance if he were upfront right from the start. I did just get two new credit cards in oder to get zero interest (provided I pay them off in the time alloted) I hope my plan works. I guess you mean mountain bike chain oil? I used to ride a lot and that was all I ever oiled (except an shot of WD-40 here and there)

Kayla said...

I like your idea of trying to sell him something in return!
Imagine his face as you turn the tables and try to sell him your cell phone, etc.
And no heavy petting around my groceries please!!

Phil said...

From one Phil to another... Howdy!

Yeah you’re right. If he had been open and straight to the point, I may have been tempted. Grrr
I know of several people who switch around credit card balances, taking advantage of the 0% or low APR. Good idea and good luck.
Chain oil really yes, I only oil the chain and gear mechanisms before each ride. WD40 works too!

LOL, OK then! ;->

Maybe I should produce my own little clipboard and go at him as badly, saying I'm from another credit card company or a charity looking for donations. TeeHee

Oh, here's a line I forgot, he asked me my age, so I told him, and then said, "Oh, I would have guessed at 23 more like." How cheesy..!

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