Tuesday, 27 June 2006


Over the years, I believe I have stumbled across an interesting phenomenon regarding the relationship between a womens age and their perfume usage.

I swear that as women get older, their sense of smell must become immune to the scent of their own perfume, so they simply add more to compensate. This, I approximate, peaks at around the age of 50, in my estimation, and then diminishes again slowly.
[I reckon an extra squirt per decade, as an average compensation for loss of smell?]

You to can experience this pungent phenomenon, as it is particularly noticeable and potent in the following scenarios:
  • A wedding, family birthday or christening around where the aunties congregate.
  • In a pub on a 50-60 year old ladies night out*. Easily located simply by following the sound of raucous cackles as someone has cracked a joke about incontinence or impotence, which is rather risqué after all, especially when discussed in public.
Would my speculation be correct regarding this, as it makes me cough when near such a group of ladies as the odours merge into one almighty, capable of taking out an alien planet, stench and even my clothes smell of perfume after a while!

When the smoking ban finally comes into force in UK pubs, I think they should have fragrance free seating areas! :)

[* not me of course, them]

Today, I'm Most Angry About: Getting yet another crap nights sleep, for no apparent reason and suffering for it at work today! Grrr... Cantankerous ... Grrr
Grrr-O-Meter Rating: 5/10


Anonymous said...

Ahaha... Funny you mention the smell of middle-aged women. I was just visiting a friend and her mom dropped by and the smell of her old lady perfume nearly knocked me on my ass! I think she may have actually bathed in it and then sprayed more on afterwards.

Anonymous said...

My M is Approaching Middle Age. I will send her round to whack you!

Anonymous said...

If I wear perfume (or even make-up) Harry and Piglet go bonkers. I think it must contain pheromones. Shame it didn't have that effect on the lads when I was available!

I hate the smell of aftershave on a bloke the same way that you hate strong perfume on women. It makes me wonder what smell they're trying to hide ...

Kayla said...

Hello Mighty DoGGa,
Do I smell??
I love perfume, definitely less is more....
As they say, spray it into the air, then walk into it..

b o o said...

i don't use perfume. wanna sniff?

b o o said...

hope u get some quality sleep soon {{hugs}}

Dakota said...

Eh-oh…. I must be entering the danger zone by now and I didn’t even noticed it ;)

Women use the same perfume too long and that’s where the problem lies. Because they’ve been using the same fragrance for so long, they can’t smell it anymore. So it’s actually a serious waste of money. What’s the use of spending money on a scent, when you can’t even enjoy yourself?

I don’t use a lot of perfume because I loathe the reeking ladies too. I use a delicately scented deodorant or just a few dabs of perfume onto pulse points :)

BTW…..I agree with JG. Some men stink too!

Aoj and The Lurchers said...

Rarely wear perfume and when I do, on very special occasions, it's a teenny, tiny dab of Chanel No.19 on the wrists.

I'm with JG. I much prefer men to smell natural..nothing like the smell of fresh sweat on a man!

Dakota said...

(I forgot to mention this earlier)
I hope you are sleeping better by now…. If not, how about a Spa day? Visit a sauna or get a massage. It might not sound masculine, maybe even too girly (hey somewhere inside me there is one ;)), but it cured my insomnia last February :)

Phil said...

Hahaha, you're getting it too then!

Lord Hutton:
LOL - Oops, sorry, apologies to M! :)

TeeHee - Yeah, the same goes for men too, it's just rarer.

Mighty Kayla:
I'm sure you smell lovely and I've seen people do the spray and walk thing, both jokingly and seriously, both incur a head back and squint manoeuvre! :)

Yes, I would like to smell you actually! ;)
Mmm, quality sleep would be lovely yeah, thank you.

*Dogga agrees completely*
Yup, deodorant or similar does just nicely, or as you say, perfume in the right places and quantity!
Sleep still rubbish! 6:03am this morning :(
A spa day sounds great and I lurve massages etc - Masculinity not a problem, I don't give a monkeys as long as it feels nice! Mmm, you've got me thinking... again!

Channel 19 you say! Is that not UK Gold or BBC 3? :)
You like the smell of sweaty men eh? Each to their own, although I suppose it's what you're up to at the time maybe?

Me-ow said...

interesting and true...

Phil said...

Glad you're with me here! :]