Monday, 13 November 2006

A McRant With Fries...

I can procrastinate no more - RANT MODE= ON!

Normally I refuse to dine at McDonalds, on the principle of it being crap, but on Sunday I lapsed, however my principle was reinforced.

On the weekend, I popped into town and when driving home, hunger struck. I wanted something quick and easy, but didn't want a cold sarnie from a garage or fish and chips etc, so I thought I would give McDonalds the benefit of the doubt, as one of them* caught my eye.

So, I popped into the drive-thru, pulled up at window #1 and ordered a chicken sandwich meal, paid and then drove to window #2, where they handed me the correct food accompanied by the correct drink too. Wow, I thought, the idiots have got it right for once AND it's hot; all is forgiven!

Whoa there Dogga, easy now... Once back home, I tucked into the fries and upon polishing them off, I opened the McChicken sandwich box to find it's there OK, but it has no salad or mayonnaise or ANYTHING on it, just a dry bun and a bit of chicken!
OMG, how on earth can they get a simple sandwich wrong? FFS, they must make hundreds of them a day and it's hardly a large, diverse and complex menu now is it? ...TOSSERS!

McDonald's Restaurant Toilet Etiquette:
If you ever go to a McDonald's restaurant solely to use the toilet, this is know as a '
McShit' or 'McPiss'. If, however, a generic spotty teenage employee questions you, you must justify yourself to them by saying you're just nipping to the loo and will be purchasing food afterwards, regardless of having no such intentions. This is known as a 'McShit with Lies'!

[* Yes, we have more than one McDonalds in Kidderminster! Like we actually need two!]

Today, I'm Most Angry About: Being invited to two parties, YAY, but both are fancy dress! Grrr, I hate fancy dress, especially when the theme of one of them is 'Festive Fairies'... I kid you not! Grrr
Grrr-O-Meter Rating: 2/10

Today's Top Tip:
Invited by vegetarians for dinner? Point out that since you'd no doubt be made aware of their special dietary requirements, tell them about yours and ask for a nice steak! :0)


Kayla said...

McShit with Lies?? hahaha
I'm loving it (pun intended)

I hate when hunger strikes and there is nothing but crappy fast foods to choose from.
Do you have Quiznos there?
At least it is a hot sandwich, and much better fare than McHurl's.

The Festive Fairies party sounds a little scary DoGGa!
I must insist upon photos.

Anonymous said...

McDonalds were my saviour when touring eastern europe in winter, Nonetheless, I am generally in agreement with you. Why do bloody Fillay of Fish take so bleeding long?
Eating dead animal is wrong, and you know it!
And if you want a toilet, use the lifts in the multistorey, like everyone else;-)

LindzyPinzy said...

ahahahahah lmao at your mcdonalds post and the mcshit with Lies ahahah

ahh good ol Mc Dicks..we have a love hate relationship..sometimes I get mad cravings for cheesemurmers(usually after a night of drinking)... but afterwards it doesnt feel so good. what crap mcchucks is.

and whats with this festive fairies party? that halarious! Im with are a must if you go! lol

Kayla said...

BTW, lovely new photo of you, my DoGGa!
Very serious and pensive

Anonymous said...

go as the emperor *no brainer*

Anonymous said...

Look at it this way. McD tried to give you the healthy option by leaving the mayonnaise out. Not sure why they forgot the salad though :)

Beautiful new mug shot you got going there. Taken by a professional?
Does it have anything to do with the secret you posted about on Boo’s blog?

Anonymous said...

I hate McD's... but you and I already have established the nastiness of the place. The last time I ate their food, I nearly vomited.

Actually, I have pretty much given up fast food all together.

And by the way, I bet you'll look handsome all prettied up for those parties!

Phil said...

Boom boom, nice pun too!
No, no Quiznos over here to my knowledge, McDonalds rule to roost.

Oh, if I'm going to a party dressed as a fariy, I'm gonna kick up a fuss and there certainly will be post with photos, gauranteed! :]

Glad you like the new piccy too...

I can see that yeah!
Fillet-o-fish taking longer is a mystery yes, mmm.
Eating dead animals is wrong, coming from Mr Fillet-o-fish eater LOL :0)
Hehe, a mutlipoo or multiwee?

McShit with Lies has me in stitches too.
I feel as you do about McDicks!
As I've said, there will be a post and a half if I go that party! :]

Sorry, but you've lost me there. Go as the Fairy Emporer? :)

Ah, yes, LOL, perhaps they took the liberty of making a little healthier on my behalf :]
Wow, cool, glad you like the new mug shot! The answer to your questions... "It may have been" and "it may do"! ;)

Yay for no fast food, but it's something I have to do now and again and regret it everytime :[]

I better look the pretiest male fairy there, I hope, if that's possible?

Purple Donkeys said...

Can't believe you can eat shite like that - never catch me doing that *ahem*! Only thing ever eaten worse was when living in Chicago and it went by the name of Taco Bell! Also best thing ever eaten was in Chicago - Krusty Kreme Donuts (American spelling if you please!)

So i guess next time we get to slow dance is at Big Rich's b'day bash - just look as good as you do in the pic! xx

Me Myself and I said...

oh my god, I'm laughing my McAss off! great post!!

Bailey's Mom said...

I hate the fact that i love the fries....the darn things dont decompose..thats not's just not right...and we put it in our bodies..again...just not right...but we do it anyway...and why??????????....dunno.loved the post!!

Anonymous said...

'Festive Fairies' - You could go as John Barrowman in a santa hat.

'McDonalds' - You must have known what was going to happen, surely? The major benefit of being a McDonalds patron is that you are on the correct side of the counter, and can choose to go elsewhere. You only have yourself to blame... though you've made me want a Big Mac now, you evil swine.

Anonymous said...

nice noo mug shot. the emperor's noo clothes u goofball!

Purple Donkeys said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Purple Donkeys said...

Actually we ate some where FAR worse than Taco Bell if possible - think it was called White Castle! And who said i was becoming a food snob!?!?!

Anonymous said...

I used to like mcdonalds, until i went the other day when my chips had no salt on and my hands were covered in grease when i was finished!! the milkshakes good though oh and the mcflurrys lol ;->

Kayla said...

I have to laugh at Steve's Taco Bell comment!
My niece loves it, but it stinks up the house terribly when she brings it home..
We call it Taco Smell

Phil said...

Patch Bitch:
Yeah, I've never seen you eating shite, you foo snob! Honest guv :]
LOL - Yeah, see ya Big Rich's do...
For you, I'll look even better than in the pic!

McAss LOL, glad you liked it :)

Bailey's Mom:
Yeah, it's an odd fast food addiction thing! Glad you liked the post :]

I could, but you would have to explain why first! LOL
I did know what 'might' happen at McDonalds, but I chanced it and lost :[ "BigMac" mmmmwwwwhhhhahahaha

Cheers Boo :]
Ah, yes, of course, nice idea, but I feel the place may be full of idiots! x

Taco Smell... LOL,OK, now you've lost me, I'm gonna have ot look up what this Taco Bell is all about. :]

Kayla said...

Here you go DoGGa, courtesy of Wikipedia:
~Taca-taca-taca-taca-taca-taca Taco Bell!
~Ooh! What a difference Taco Bell makes!
~Make a run for the border.
~Nothing ordinary about it.
~Cross the Border.
~Fetch that food!
~You can munch it! So good!
~Taste that food! Dong!
~Change Is Good
~Want some?
~Yo quiero [I want] Taco Bell.
~Think outside the bun.
~Spice up the night. (For the introduction of open Taco Bells at night)
~Good To Go (For the Crunchwrap Supreme)
~The Fourth Meal
~I'm Full! (For the Big Bell Value Menu)
~Is it hot in here?

Anonymous said...

"Normally I refuse to dine at McDonalds" I have never seen those two words in the same sentence before. I try to stay away from Scottish food. I get the McHurls too

Anonymous said...

i can only stomach mcdonald's once in a while, it acts like some sort of suppository.

karen said...

Weymouth has 2 McDonalds and no Burger King if you can believe it. Quarter pounder with cheese is the only McFood I will consider. I used to be partial to an apple pie thingy but they are lethal, they should be studied for their incredible heat-maintaining abilities (I'm sure there's a better word for heat-maintaining but my brain is addled).
Oh, and also NO FAIR!!!! I would LOVE to go to a fancy dress party dressed as a festive fairy - I mean look at me! I AM a friggin' xmas fairy. The only party I've been invited to is Greek themed :(

Phil said...

Hahaha, now that made me laugh!
What an odd eatery Taco Bell is and an odd name; I looked it all up on Wiki :]

Yeah, I was a little OTT using the word Dine in that post, I take it back! The McHurls LOL :]

*titter* I've never thought about it like that, but yeah, I'd agree:[]

I can believe Weymouth has 2, but yes, a Buger King would be better; at least it's almost like real food.
'Insulation' is I beleive what you are trying to say :] I haven't had one of those for years, in fact I forgot they existed.
You'd look top as a fairy I'm sure (Dogga rubs hands on thighs), but it's OK for the women, what about us men? I'd prefer to get my Toga out personally! :0) X

Anonymous said...

That'll teach you. McDonalds indeed Tchoh!

McShit with Lies...that is just ace!!

Anonymous said...


John Barrowman is a prominent gay actor. think Torchwood or Doctor Who. He also almost got the Will part in Will and Grace, but lost out because he wasn't camp enough. In fact, he's not camp at all which is why the joke doesn't really work. i.e., stick a chrimbo hat on him, and you have yourself a festive fairy.

In retrospect John Inman may have been a better choice.

Phil said...

Well and truely taught indeed!
More to come... :]
Glad you liked McShit with Lies! :0)

Ah, I see now! Yeah, I could go for play on words, or will it bee too clever for people to get? Mmm, that's got me thinking... Thanks for the idea :]

Anonymous said...

I am confused... Why would you want to be a fairy? Maybe fairy in the UK means something totally different than it does here.

Anonymous said...

PS... AWESOME picture

Phil said...

Oops, I missed your comment, soz dude! I still think you're Maccy Dee fan and now you're 13 shouldn't you be hanging outside one causing trouble and giving attitude? LOL :0)

A fairy is like a pixie, you know, a little girlie think with a wand and wings, like Tinkerbell from Peter Pan!
What does it means in the states then?
Glad you likey the piccy :]

Anonymous said...

no, thats for chavs!! lol.

Anonymous said...

If you call someone a fairy it means they are gay, or you are assuming that they are. I personally don't call people fairies, but I know many who do.

Wow, I'm your 31st comment... is that a record?

New Post now.

Not that I can talk, I don't post very often anymore, either.

Kayla said...

Hey up DoGGa!
How's the weekend going so far?

Phil said...

And your point here is? LOL :]

Ah, yes. It measn thatover here, but only very loosly and it's not used very often in that context.

Yeah, a record 32 comments now - New post coming up! :]

Hey up chuck!
Weekend going well, got lots on today, hope yours is going fine too?

Stu said...

When having a McPiss, we tend to go in, go for pee, then search the menu for something veggie and gluten-free. Oh dear, there _isn't_ anything. Oh well, off we go.

Phil said...

Hahaha, I know, shite is it not! :[]

Max said...

I whole heartly agree with the the MAcdonalds - just say no!

Phil said...

Oh yes indeed! :[]