That's Entertainment...

On the weekend I went to see 'The Woman In Black'.
A creepy, but very entertaining show and I was blown away by how the performance was delivered...

Cutting a long story short and although a little confusing at first, one of the characters shows another character that he does not need many props or effects, just good stage presence to portray his true ghost story well and proceeds to show him how.
They then basically perform the whole play with no more than 3 chairs and a wicker basket... Very well done and completely absorbing, it also gave me an eerie shiver or two at time and made most women in the theatre scream several times with well timed door slams etc :[]


On the other side of the spectrum, I came across a bookmarked link I meant to post ages ago... So from horror to comedy; I thought this was just great, until it got to the end :0)

C o i n a g e

Today, I'm Most Angry About: My office plant not flowering, when three others in the building have done so just nicely, and I give mine loads of TLC too!!! Grrr :'[
Grrr-O-Meter Rating: 1/10

Today's Top Tip: Save on charity donations by spending £1 on clothes at a charity shop, then selling them for 50p to another charity shop. This way you can give twice as much, at half the cost... I think?

Genius...

I heard on the news this morning, that YouTube want to encourage creativity, so they are going to start rewarding / paying people, who upload brilliant videos. What a great idea!

Well, I think this guy deserves a little reward for this peice..:]
A Human beat-box with a twist*. Quite remarkable what he can do with his voice, especially merging from a female voice to a male voice at the start!

This is precisely what you need in your Monday.
ENJOY...



[* Shamelessly stolen from Omally's Blog]

Today, I'm Most Angry About: The ability alarm clocks have to speed up time. Minutes get shortened to seconds, when between snooze alarms and before you know it, half an hour has passed and you've got to get up. How mean :[]
Grrr-O-Meter Rating: 1/10

Today's Top Tip: Rappers - Avoid having to say "know what I'm sayin'" all the time by actually speaking clearly in the first place!

Phil-O...

Last month, my buddy Big Rich had a fancy dress bash!

Vampire Rich

Fairies DoGGa and Andy and on the left we see a rare, but nice surprise appearance from Steve
(Note the severe lack of fancy dress though... *tut, tut*... Named and SHAMED)

Wanting to get my monies worth and it being a different crowd, I wore my nice red fairy outfit again, but with a subtle difference.
Big Rich's wife, Priscilla, for a laugh, got me a leopard skin thong for Xmas.
Now politeness dictates we should wear an item of clothing someone has bought you, when in their company, so I thought it would be rude not to sport these little numbers when in the presence of Priscilla...

After a few beers, off came the fairy outfit... Eat your heart out Steve-O!

Bonus bum shot! :0)

Priscilla looked a tad horrified and wouldn't come near. She opted to stand over the other side of the hall, but that may have been because she was with her parents, teehee :[]
A fun night was had and yes, the fairy outfit did go back on for the journey home!

Today, I'm Most Angry About: Pouring yet another cup of coffee over myself... What's wrong with me? Do I have a drinking problem or what? That's twice in one month!!! Grrr
Grrr-O-Meter Rating: 3/10

Today's Top Tip: Bomb disposal experts' wives... Keep your husband on his toes by packing a lump of plasticine and an old alarm clock in with his sandwiches!

E-mails & Accidents...

A few things have cropped up recently that have made me both smile and cringe, so here's a little compilation for the start of 2007...

A Friend's Funny E-mail On my day off, a friend *cough* Big Rich, had gone into my office, turned the power on to use my A3 printer, and then went home and left it on overnight.
Another friend went in to my office the following day and found everything on, so left me this e-mail...

Phil,
You goon...went in to leave you some grapes (chuck them if you don't want them) and your room was all ablaze.
Well, not LITERALLY, but all turned on!
Well, not turned on, like sexually turned on, but switched on.
Well, not switched on like, in a knowledgeable manner, but powered up.
Well, not exactly powered up in a pac-man stylee but...
ENOUGH!
Waring

Another Friend's E-mail Blunder

This is a classic example of where spell checkers inherently fail to notice context!
A work friend hit the letter 'w' by accident, as it's very close to 's', thus typing whipping, instead of shipping, LOL. This was actually sent to the customer and CC'd to colleagues!!!

Dear Robert
All of the units are currently in stock and can be shipped upon receipt of payment.
Please confirm you are happy with the pricing and confirm whipping instructions and I will issue a proforma invoice.
Thank you in advance.

Best Regards

M### B#########
Shipping Manager
XTA Electronics Ltd

Another Friend's Misfortune

6 weeks ago, a friend of mine bought his family a gorgeous, brand new, £800, Samsung 32 Inch LCD TV, as their existing CRT TV blew up, but the other day, I got this text message...

Alright mate? Is there anyway of repairing an expensive cracked 32 inch LCD TV that has NO accident cover?

It turns out he was playing football, with his eldest son, in the lounge with a knitted ball from his youngest son. The ball had a bell in the middle that became dislodge during the game and hit the TV, shattering the LCD panel! All they get now is few striped lines of colour, as pictured above.
He took out no accident cover (fair enough) but has no household contents insurance in place!!! He's going to be paying, for the now broken TV, for 3-years.
Samsung quoted him £720 for repair! OUCH

...Bonus Blog...

After the landlady of the Tan Hill read my blog entry regarding my Tan Hill adventures, she added a mention on the yellow ticker at the top of the Tan Hill website... COOL! :)

Today, I'm Most Angry About: Loosing both of my recycle bins... Yes, you heard right!
I put them out last Wednesday night, for the weekly Thursday morning collection, but return from work Thursday night and GONE!!! What do I do now???
Grrr-O-Meter Rating: 5/10

Today's Top Tip: New Year Diet? Lose weight quickly by eating raw chicken or rancid fish.
The subsequent food poisoning and diarrhoea will enabled you to lose 12 pounds in only 2 days!

A Wet and Windy Wicked Weekend in Wales...

Aaaggghhh, too many Ws!

On the weekend, a friend and I decided to go to north Wales for a couple days of walking, eating and boozing, but on arrival the weather was decidedly blowy and was equally impressive to the winds experienced up at Tan Hill.
Given the conditions, more eating and beer drinking took place, than walking, but hey, do you here me complaining? (Cue tumble weed and distant church bell sound effect)

The wind rather unnervingly rocked our 'hard standing tent' quite vigorously at times and never really ceased throughout both nights, causing me to me wake intermittently in a startled 50p 20p state! (If you don't understand that expression, I'm not explaining unless you e-mail :0)

Due to the weather making high altitude walking both physically hard and dangerous, we stuck to lower level walks and there's a great one around a couple of lakes and an old forest, taken from a walking book, which I have done may times and it suited this weekend just nicely...

Around the other side of the first lake, we poked around this lovely old house...

Upon closer inspection, I spotted the old outside loo!
Niiice... It's hard to believe that inside toilets are actually quite a modern commodity; relatively speaking.

The next part of the walk goes through a rather magical forest and last time I was here, a solitary wild white horse was roaming around inside!
The local Equus caballus residents were all gathered by a holiday cottage this time, eating the lawn :-)

In the middle of the woods, I spotted this... Anyone wanna help me rebuild this old house?

I can envisage the Estate Agent advert:
A secluded airy, one bedroom, cosy and attractive traditional dwelling with stunning views of encompassing woodland. Extensive gardens and a great view of the night sky from inside! In need of some modernisation and associated amenities!

The trees in this wood are very ancient and mossy; you can just imagine elves or dwarves inhabiting such a place.

On the evening, me and me buddy ate at one of my fave restaurants, although the waitress's have gone rather downhill aesthetically :0)

After much nice food and many ales, a walk round Betws-y-Coed was called for and I stumbled across this, well, big, hard, kinda, massive, sorta... you know what it is!!!
(And no, it's not a rooster)

The wind showed no mercy, on the second day, and an unsuccessful trip to find to the highest pub in Wales was embarked upon, but along the way we stopped to look at a reservoir and dam, as the wind was something special, rocking the car and proving very hard to walk in...

Andy nicely demonstrating the appropriate straddle here...

The wind easily held all of DoGGa's weight!!!

On return to the campsite, police had blocked the road right opposite the site because canoeists had got stuck. On the scene were police, ambulance, the press AND a rescue helicopter, so we went for a quick nose. See the story here.

The rescue Helicopter flying low over the campsite and being blown about quite severely.

Today, I'm Most Angry About: Having ZERO energy for circuit training, but a gorgeous girl attended today, so it kept me distracted! :0)
Grrr-O-Meter Rating: 2/10

Today's Top Tip: Turn the tables and make shopkeepers feel like criminals by carefully checking their change and holding any bank notes they give you up to the light before accepting them :]

Happy 2007 Everyone...

"I hope you all had much festive fun and I wish everybody
a Happy New Year!"

As previously mentioned, my Christmas and New Year was very different to anything I had experienced before, as I spent the festive period living and working at the Tan Hill Inn THE HIGHEST PUB IN BRITAIN! (ALSO... IN THE MIDDLE OF FLIPPIN' NOWHERE)

A superb, unique time was had and I was made very welcome.
I learned a hell of a lot, including just how hard it is to run a pub, but being away from all my friends and family, especially at this time of year, really made me realise just how much they mean to me and gave me the time to reflect upon how much I missed everyone! :]

The Tan Hill Inn on a cold foggy night... My home for two weeks

Inside is a different place, with open fires, an original stone floor, plenty of real ale, animals, folks playing guitar and bonkers people

We had many walkers and cyclists drop by, as the Pennine Way runs right past the pub

Sherbet the dog, with her festive 'Woof Woof Merrily on High' Neckerchief.
Hey, the pub fits between her Gremlin-like ears

One morning, I found myself helping the Landlady give one of the ducks a bath, as it was injured by a customers dog a few days ago

DoGGboy himself, working behind the bar, with fellow barman Nano.
The rather phallus looking green thing is John Smith's Extra Smooth... Honest guv!

Aww, look at Toronto the kitten with Sherbs asleep by the fire on Christmas Eve

Christmas morning was really cold, as the place hadn't risen above freezing for 3 days.
Most of the staff and guests, including Tan, Sherbet and Myself, took a walk on the moors. Note the inch-long ice hanging off the blades of grass

Mike (Landlord), Tan (Sheep) and Tracy (Landlady)

After the morning walk, me and Tracy behaved like naughty school kids, by taking Tan into the side room and dressed him up as Father Christmas and then presented him to the outside world, which caused much hilarity with the guests and passers-by alike

Christmas dinner was a true feast... We got the guests to prepare vegetables AND wash up too... Result! There was a huge selection of food, including good old sprouts, and we were joined by Esmeralda the chicken, but we did not eat her :]

Sunset on Christmas Day

A friend popped up for on Boxing Day and we walked the Pennine way for while with Sherb

After popping back home for two days, to see friends and family and attend a fancy dress party (post coming shortly), I went back up north to help out with two weddings at the Tan Hill...
The first of which had a medieval theme, and as you can see, the costumes were fantastic and they played the parts well too

The one night we had winds peak at 98mph! Here you can see the anemometer's peak level nearly bottomed out. I went outside, but could not walk in it... Truly amazing winds!!!

I awoke the following morning to see Sherb had spent the night at the bottom of my bed.
A true hot water bottle, as she doesn't go cold after a few hours!

The next day was New Years Eve and we had another wedding.
A far more traditional one this time...

This is the Tan Hill's bridal suite... I kid you not!

The barmaid, Michelle, got a 7 week old puppy 'Tinker' for Xmas.
I was initially fooled into thinking they'd bought me a puppy and for a second I believed them, Grrr, how cruel!
...and I was having a bad-hair-day too :[

Many laughs were had, and Tracy never failed to shock me with her antics and phrases expressed in front of customers, but Mike got a classic one in on Christmas Eve while wrapping presents in the bar:

Tracy: "Ooh, are all those for me?"
Mike: "Yes dear, you wanted lots of small presents, so that's what I got you!"
Tracy: "Well I hope one of them contains a diamond ring, as that's what I'd really like."
Mike: "Nope... You've got a ring round your arsehole dear, what more do you want?" :0)


Today, I'm Most Angry About: Recovering from a stinking cold,
AKA ManFlu! Grrr...
Grrr-O-Meter Rating: 3/10

Today's Top Tip: Motorists: Pressing your 'foglights' switch for a second time, days after the fog has cleared, will actually turn your foglights off!