A Weekend Up Norf...

This weekend I went with friends for a weekend in and around a lovely little spa town in Derbyshire, England called Buxton.

Landmarks Buxton Crescent and the dome

Inside the dome, which is part of Derby University. It was the world's largest unsupported dome and has a HUGE pendulum suspended from the middle of it for this reason!

A statue at St. Anne's well

A daffodil
(You don't say!)

A strange... Err... Erm... Pfff... Duck?


Tiny ickle purple flowers

We stayed in a traditional stereo typical eccentric English hotel

The hotel room keyring was just one of the many peculiarities!

Both nights we ate at this SUPERB 'Simply Thai' restaurant

John after just 1/4 of a pint!

This one's for you Pat, you blog voyeur you!!! :0)

Roy - who later started on one of his many highly entertaining random stories about a house he's doing some work at that doesn't have a front door and the owners just appear out of a cupboard somewhere! WHAT??? LOL


Then visited the Otter, Owl and Wildlife park...


Then went 300ft down in the Blue John Cavern...

The guide was a typical northerner and very entertaining.
His best line was when he chipped off some quartz for an 8 year old boy and said, "Ere ya gor lad, you cun probableh trade this int' playground for sum fags" much to the horrified look on his mothers face! (Fags are cigarettes, for you Merkan readers out there :])

Then walked up Mam Tor...

A quick half-hour dognap at the top in the sun was called for :]

On Sunday, a mate and me went to the second highest pub in Britain, the 'Cat & Fiddle'.
We met up with fellow blogger Stu and his friend Helen to accompany them on an 8-mile that turned out to be 9-mile walk

DoGGa, Stu and the lovely Helen.
I don't have two peanuts stuck up my top... Honest guv!

Stu, it's not big or clever to see how many crisps you can stick in at once :]

Obligatory moon shot outside the pub infront of oncoming traffic including Stu and Helen departing! TeeHee :)

Today, I'm Most Angry About: An insect bite on my shin that's now getting incredibly bloomin' itchy... Scratch, scratch, scratch - Grrrrrrr
Grrr-O-Meter Rating: 4/10

Today's Top Tip: Suck the eyes from attacking zombies using a Black & Decker 'Dustbuster'. The zombies will then wander around aimlessly and can be despatched by the usual methods at a more leisurely pace.

Centre Parcs 2007...

Last weekend saw this year's visit to Centre Parcs.
The place was fully booked except for one luxury villa, so what the heck, we booked it anyway and my word was it nice.

The villa turned out to basically be a detached 4-bedroom house with private parking, en-suite for all rooms with an LCD TV in each too and even an 8-birth hot tub outside...

Me, Amy, Luke, Kees, Silver Fox, Andy, big sis numbah 1 taking photo

It also had a steam room and sauna inside.
Now that's posh, but we are very much not :)

Check out our 'steel horses' parked outside
Just like the Hells Angels... Almost

The first day incorporated a new made-up game of:
"Phil has to squeeze a completely 'random' word into a conversation with Centre Parcs staff regardless of what it takes game"

The 'Random' word theme of choice from the others: Vehicles

1. Lifeboat (Andy's suggestion)
Completed! Much to the embarressment of my sister, I asked the car park attendant if there were any lifeboats up ahead before parking, to which he replied "err, no" after a short pause

2. J.C.B. (Sis's suggestion)
Completed! Asked the barmaid for one* in the middle of a drinks order, which rather confused her even though I explained to her it was a bit like a digger :0)
[* A JCB that is, tut]

3. Muck-Spreader (Kees's suggestion)
Completed! Asked the barman for this cocktail and he surprisingly enquired what it consisted of. I had to make it up on the spot - Vodka, Malibu, cream and a crushed up pack of M&Ms. He actually made it for me, tried it, liked it and said he was going to add it to the specials menu LOL!

Here is the quaffed 'Muck-Spreader'

After drinks we all went 10-pin bowling

Here's the Silver Fox in action sporting his A.S.B.O. t-shirt

I whipped em all I did

It was good fun watching people do the tree-top course one evening

What do you do with your empty bottle of Coke? Stick it in your unsuspecting nieces rucksack of course, mmmwwwhahaha!

Aaahhh, naughty people

DoGGa caught himself a DuCKling, aww

Luke's extreme strawing

My Jenga art :0)

Being a big kid must run in the family... Yeah big sis

I had to have a go at the jumping off a swing trick




I did start to feel quite ill after having a razz on yet another swing :]

After Kees and myself drew at standing in the cold plunge pool for the longest, I challenged her at standing under the outside cold shower back at the villa. I won :[]

Today, I'm Most Angry About: Taking a trip to the supermarket to get a sandwich for work and leaving without one! Quite how I managed that I don't know. Grrr
Grrr-O-Meter Rating: 1/10

Today's Top Tip: Star Trek Captains. When your ship is in imminent danger of being destroyed, save a great deal of hassle by thinking of the last thing you could possibly try, which might just work, and do that first.

Juvenile...

I just can't help it!
I'm a big kid at heart and here are 2 short-videos to prove it...

1. At 29 years of age, I'm proud to of bought my very first remote controlled airplane.
I flew it for the first time this weekend and got two good flights out of it and nothing got broke or lost... Blimey!!!

Big sis numbah 1 filming the successful maiden flight


2. My mate Kees sent me the funniest YouTube vid I've ever seen - Darth Vader annoying General Veers. It's just sooo childish :)

A clever bit of editing huh!

I'm now going on this year's first trip to Centre Parcs for a well deserved long weekend break, as I don't feel I've done much so far this year :[] *rolls eyes*

"Take care folks and see you all soon!"

Today, I'm Most Angry About: Getting my hair cut for the first time at 'James @ It' in Bewdley and asking them for "just a trim please, I still want to leave some length in it".
My hair is the shortest it's been in about 2 years! Grrr... It'll be fine in a week or so, I'm sure.
Grrr-O-Meter Rating: 3/10

Today's Top Tip: Why pay the earth for fancy jigsaws?
Simply take a bag of frozen chips from the freezer and try piecing the potatoes back together!

Germany...

Last week I was in Frankfurt, Germany attending the Musikmesse exhibition for work...

I've never seen cloud formations like these before; they were awesome... Until you descend through them on a Boeing 737, then they are rough as you like! :0)

I landed right next to the new Airbus A380, which had just made it's first flight full of passengers from New York to Germany - This photo does not do it justice, as this aircraft is HUMONGOUS!
Seeing it in real life, rather than on TV, is stunning.

In the airport toilets I noticed this, which made me chuckle. It says, "If you are reading this you are having a pooh!" :0]

I then took a 20-minute taxi ride from the airport to the hotel. All the taxis in Germany are nice new Mercedes, completely unlike the crappy Kidderminster cabs... Is that five 6s?

"Tripod" and "The Silver Fox" preferred this method of transport!!!

Frankfurt Skyline

On the way to the exhibition, you pass many impressive bank HQs

I can't even begin to describe how enormous these exhibition halls are. This is just the outside entrance to one of the halls! There are 10 of them linked with moving walkways. Each of the halls are about the size of a football pitch. You could literally walk for hours.


This was our section on our German distributor's stand.

This slight technical hitch made me laugh - when we first plugged a laptop into this hired plasma screen, it appeared upside down. We all stood back and in synchronicity said, "oh"

On the subject of errors, Germany is home to the worst hair style EVER called the 'Mullet' - For those of you who are new to this popular 1980s cut, it's basically, spiky(ish) on-top, very short on the sides and long at the back. Ewww
Here are two classic examples I managed to catch on camera, both well worthy of the title being pronounced "moo-lay" for extra class :]

Exhibition fuel consisted of Weiner Shcnitzel in a crusty roll. Mmm

Unfortunatly, the exhibition is rife with Chinese copies of UK products, but we noticed a slight mistype in this very nicely put together glossy Chinese catalogue of ripped-off speakers... This tech blurb is supposed to be titled 'Full Range Speaker' - A little bit of devine justice eh!


Parking can be an arse in Frankfurt, but not if you own a Smart car

Check this gigantic toy dog thing I spotted! How cool is that?
The orignal toys were threaded with elastic, so when you press the button in the base, it collapses and moves etc. This, sadly, was a none-working version. I want one outside my house right NOW!

I was quite tempted to go in here and do the test, dead pan faced :]

A 'specialty' shop in Frankfurt's red light district.
One of the crew accidentally dialled his girlfriend's mobile in his pocket while browsing through this shop! He had much explaining to do as the 15 minute message included statements such as, "Oh my word, that's massive?" etc, etc. Ooops

Me trying on Big Rich's glasses. GEEK... Specky T***

My fave restaurant in the world, the Steinernes Haus.
They serve you a hefty lump of raw fillet-steak on a hot lava stone and you cook it yourself. This is accompanied by a huge beer that takes two hands to lift until you've drank some!

My hotel was on this street. Try saying it to a German taxi driver after a few beers :[]

Today, I'm Most Angry About: A Chav trying to overtake his mate in a 30mph zone into oncoming traffic, me being at the front! He got a blast of my horn as I emergency braked, but he just took a drag of his fag and blasted his horn back at me - What a nob!!! Grrr
Grrr-O-Meter Rating: 8/10

Today's Top Tip: Record the sound of your washing machine, then confuse the neighbours by playing it back on a battery operated player during a power cut!